M.I.A. vs. Lady Gaga

Interesting comments from M.I.A. on Lady Gaga:

None of her music’s reflective of how weird she wants to be or thinks she is. She models herself on Grace Jones and Madonna, but the music sounds like 20-year-old Ibiza music, you know? She’s not progressive, but she’s a good mimic. That’s a talent and she’s got a great team behind her, but she’s the industry's last stab at making itself important - saying, ‘You need our money behind you, the endorsements, the stadiums.’ Respect to her, she’s keeping a hundred thousand people in work, but my belief is: Do It Yourself.

I should preface by saying I like M.I.A. and her music. Her take is an insightful one on the surface, but she should take it a step further. Being 'different' or 'progressive' is always more respected, when it could be argued that it is every bit as contrived as copying someone else. When you're different or weird, aren't you basing your 'difference' against something? Namely, the mainstream? If I know what sounds popular and want to be different, I can make it happen. It's every bit as constructed as someone who mimics. Quite frankly there's nothing THAT original out there in the world of art anymore. Best to just not go down this path because it's a painful circular argument.

Of all the technologies, bathroom technology is the least necessary

In most aspects of life, technology improves things. This is not so in the bathroom. I argue that every piece of bathroom 'technology' has made things worse as opposed to better.

Automatic sinks? Terrible. If you've ever waved your hands around trying to get the water to flow, you know what I'm talking about. If you had trouble getting it to start, you'll have trouble getting it to keep flowing. And the temperature? Always set perfectly to 'lukewarm' - the perfect temperature to not kill any germs on your hands.

Automatic soap dispensers? Pointless. Only effective in cutting soap costs because it allocates you so little soap and you feel stupid going back for more.

Automatic hand dryers? Not terrible, but not great. It takes longer than a paper towel to dry your hands and I've seen studies that it blows germs all over the place. Want to use a paper towel to open the bathroom door? Oh wait, there isn't one.

Automatic flush? This technology has improved, but still has a ways to go. I remember when it first came out. Wouldn't flush when you wanted it to, would flush when you were still doing your business, causing splash. The automatic urinal at my work still flushes prematurely, then flushes again when I'm done. Not really saving water that way.

Waterfree urinals? Great in concept, but bad in practice. These things end up smelling pretty bad after a while and "stuff" gets stuck in the drain, causing them to overflow.

The ONLY good bathroom technology I can think of is the 'pull up for light flush' or 'push down for heavy flush' handle. But that still gives the user control.

Public bathroom industry, if you're REALLY wanting to make something automatic in the bathroom, how about something as simple as the bathroom door? People use their paper towels to open them and they just throw them on the ground because there usually isn't a garbage can near the door.

Defend the defenseless

Building on the last post about accurately handicapping your friends here. If you have the ability to know what people are capable of and what their reactions to situations will be, congratulations, you have a leg up on most people. Unfortunately, it gets harder for you. You have the responsibility of helping other people see what it is that you see.

I will present an all-too-common scenario for you. I've seen this happen at school (a LONG time ago) and at work. There's always a target. In school it was nerds. At work it's the person who always cries, or the person who shares too much about their medical history, or the person that has uncomfortable phone conversations in open spaces. It's easy to pick on people like this. I'll go to lunch with some co-workers and they'll just rip on someone for an hour.

At first it's funny. We all have our socially awkward moments, I know I have had my share. At some point though, funny fades away. People are just beating a dead horse, feeding off each other and bonding over the shortcomings of someone else. If you agree with my last post, we need to set different expectations of different people and try to understand them as opposed to laugh at them.

Imagine in that scenario I present, that after a good 15 minute roundtable of awkward person bashing (of which you should probably remain silent and just laugh along) - you step out a bit and say "You know she is really weird, but I kind of feel sorry for her at times. She probably just has family or friends who have always acted that way and has no idea it's strange behavior."

Making that statement can go one of two ways. People might start looking at each other and then lump you in, start making fun of you when you're not around. Or they might take a step back, look at what is happening and actually agree with you.

In my experience it is ALWAYS the latter. People are generally kind and understanding. They want to like everyone. It's just easy to fall into connecting with others about a common problem. When you step out like this (be smart with your timing, don't do it when the bashing starts, do it when it is dying down) you are defending someone who isn't there to defend themselves. While the people at the table may not be consciously aware of this, over time, they will come to recognize that you are a man (or woman) with enough integrity to stand up for any one of THEM when they have their awkward moment or huge screw up.

I know I would want someone to stick up for me. I think there's more of a chance that people will stick up for me, not necessarily because I stick up for them, but because I stick up for others.

Ask yourself. When they come for you, who will speak?

Handicap your friends

Isn't 'handicap' an inappropriate word now? I'm not sure. Apologies to those offended. I'm referring to how golfers 'handicap' themselves, though.

For those unfamiliar, handicapping your golf score enables people of all skill levels to better compete with each other. With accurate handicaps, I could play with a pro golfer and it'd be competitive. The number of strokes the pro would spot me would depend on what the two of us score on average. In other words, we are acknowledging there is a difference in capability, so we are rewarding the player who performs better within their range of capability. If the pro has a bad (worse than average) day and I have a good (better than average) day, I win - even though I would probably never win by raw score.

As far as relationships with people go, I think it's important to develop the skill of accurately handicapping. If you let people be who they are and accurately assess what they are capable of, you're going to get along a lot better. We all have different expectations of human beings. I don't expect a 10 year old to act the same as a 40 year old, but I shouldn't expect two 40 year olds to act the same as each other either.

I know people who have fought and fallen apart with good friends because they fail at being able to understand how they think and what they are capable of. If one person is late 4 times out of 5, you can't get upset with them for being late to your birthday party. It is expected behavior. You must adjust your expectation of that person in order to make the relationship work. Am I CONDONING tardiness? Certainly not. I'm merely saying that if you are choosing to have a relationship with this person, it is up to YOU to understand how they operate. If tardiness is a pet peeve of yours, perhaps you should seek other friendships - it's hard to change people.